I'm Not Okay I Promise Chapter 1
by Brittney Lynn
Summary: After her mother's death, by being raped and killed by her boyfriend, What Will she do? Stay in town?...Or Run Away with her friends...And Fall In Love with A Rockstar?..


**Chapter One**

It was the first day of summer vacation and I knew that I was going to have one hell of time. Concerts, parties, just hanging out with the people that I love and call family. Since my parents kicked me out, I've been staying at my sisters. She didn't make me pay rent because I barely stayed there. I was usually out with friends seeing what kinda trouble we could get ourselves into. Which was a lot most of the time. We weren't criminals or anything. But the things that we got away with were pretty knarley. Spray painting graffiti on various buildings in Jersey. Skipping school, even though we usually got dropped off in the morning. We would skipped to go do drugs or some other crazy shit like that. I've been an alcholic for the past two years. And nothing seem like it was going to get any better, any time soon.

I decided to go back to my sister's for some of my clothes because I didn't have any clean clothes and didn't really feel like washing them since I was staying at Cassie's house. I asked her if she would take me over there and wait for me as I went in. As always, I was drunk off my ass "I'll be right out" I slurred my words and almost fell onto the ground as I got out of Cassie's van. I stumbled up the steps into the house, and upstairs into the attic since that was the only place my clothes would fit to be outta everybody else's way. I couldn't really see what I was grabbing. I turned on the light to see what the fuck I was doing. I found a tote bag that my mother had gotten my for Christmas 2 years back before she kicked me out. Well, actually, I kinda just ran away and never went back. I couldn't take the pain and beatings anymore. And my mom's boyfriend to me, I remember it like it was yesterday _"If you ever tell your mother about this shit. I swear to God, I'll fucking kill you". _He whispered those words in my ear as he held his hand over my mouth so my mother couldn't hear my screaming. She was already asleep in the next room over. He took my innocence away from me when I was 17 years old. I'm 21 now but that night is still very recent and clear in my memory. I sat alone on the attic floor and just rocked back and forth, the tears rolling down my face, still thinking about it with the image of him in my head, on top of me, going in and out of me harder and harder each time. It was extremely painful. I said no over and over again. He just held me down and kept going. It was hell. I had to run away. I couldn't take the pain or suffering any longer.

I was extremely scared. I was alone and I sometimes wonder if i should just end it all. I tried to calm myself down, drying my tears and grabbing most to all of my clothes including my ipod and stuffed it in my bag. I went downstairs. My sister was sitting at the kitchen table with the phone in her hand, just staring at it. I looked at her concerned "Who was that?" I asked. She looked at me with a tear in her eye and said "Brittney, that was the police. Your mother's dead, she was raped and murdered. The police got an anonymous tip from a neighbor who was walking past the house and heard screams. I'm sorry" I felt like I was just shot in the stomach. I almost threw up. I started sobbing uncontrollably and ran out of the house in anger. I dropped my back in the front yard and just started running. I had no idea where I was going and didn't really care. "BRITTNEY!! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" I didn't pay attention to Cassie. I kept running. Not paying attention to where I was going and I found myself running into a complete stranger. He held me in his arms because the force of me running almost knocked both of us over. "GET OFFA ME!" I screamed in fear and anger. The stranger let go of me and said "Sorry sugar" I started to walk back towards my sister's house to where I know Cassie was waiting for me, along with my sister. "Umm, excuse me, are you alright? you just seemed so upset and so scared." I stopped and looked back at stranger. He stood about 5"9, with short to medium length raven black hair that covered his forhead and was messy, but in a cute way. He also had very pretty hazel/green eyes. He wore a pair of skinny jeans, chuck taylors, a black t-shirt, with a grey and black stripped hoodie with a leather jacket over that. He had a very nice voice. It was soothing.

I felt very comfortable around him suddenly. It was weird. I'm not very good with strangers. I broke down and started crying. Just crying, as I slid down the wall of the brick building. The stranger just stood there, didn't really want to get involved, but he had a look of worry on his face. He was concerned, for me. "Britt, you okay?" I heard Cassie's voice as i looked up at her running towards me. I got to my feet and said "No" and started crying even more. She grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug she ever gave. I finally calmed down and I couldn't help but notice that the stranger was still standing there. Just staring at me and Cassie with curiousity and a look of impuzzlement on his face. I dried my tears, turned around and said, "I'm sorry, sir. Ya know, for running into you like that" I looked into his eyes, he stood quiet and still.

The anger and frustration seem to all ease away and I was peaceful again. Still remembering what had happened and what my sister told me but not as angry as I was earlier. He smiled and said "No problem, you seem scared and alone, So I just wanted to help you realize what you were doing, I know it's kinda weird to hear that from a complete stranger..." "No, no it's fine, you made me feel a lot better, thank you" I smiled at him again, and he smiled back. We gazed into each others eyes for a few minutes until Cassie broke the silence "Ummm, guys.." I flinched and turned around "Oh, sorry Cass" I started to walk away from him and said "Well..See Ya". He suddenly grabbed my arm slightly, I stopped and turned to look at him, "Ummmm, wait, I was kinda wondering...would it be possible to get a ride from you guys? my car broke down and I have no way back to the hotel" "Hotel?" I asked. "Well, yea...the hotel me and my band are staying at, we have a couple shows to do around this area and we got a hotel since our bus is a complete disaster" he laughed at that, and I couldn't help but blush and laugh with him as he looked at me. He had the cutest laugh. I just wanted to kiss him, but I didn't even knw hime. There was just something about him that made me feel like I've known him forever. Good Thing Right?...

**Please Let Me Know What You Think.**

**Thanks! **

**xoxo Bree3**


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